Most of us bring old patterns, rules, and behaviours from our childhood family systems into our intimate relationships, and mostly we do this unconsciously.  When two partners operate this way certain dynamics ensue and couples can get caught up in unhealthy patterns of communicating and relating that can lead to emotional separation and finally actual separation.   We all long for and need intimacy and connection and we can be deeply affected when these dynamics cause relational breakdown.  We can become defensive, distant, abusive, controlling, passive, manipulative, or demanding etc. to try to get what we want and need from our partner.

Intimate relationships can be a wonderful place of healing from childhood pain so long as we are conscious of the triggers, reactions, and dynamics that are occurring from our merging pasts.  Most of us choose a partner like a parent, or choose someone unlike our parent then unconsciously try to make them react like the parent in order to work on issues we could not resolve from childhood.  In this way intimate relationships are like a stage upon which we act out our unresolved childhood issues.

I will work with you to help you communicate more effectively, work through the roadblocks, learn to be more vulnerable with one another, work on changing dynamics, hold yourself in relationship rather than distancing or shutting off, and grow a conscious intimate relationship.